How To Manage Your Anger

As a speaker and trainer I feel a personal sense of responsibility every time I hear about an act of violence committed against a child. Every time I hear someone state they cannot control their anger; I cringe because I know it is absolutely not true. What we need are coping skills. We can learn to control anger and improve the quality of our lives in the process. 

Here are five questions that you need to be able to answer if you are to work out your anger. The answers to these questions will help you understand how your anger is currently affecting your life and how to use your anger to improve your life. 

1. Is it ok to get angry? Yes. But it is not ok to lose control.

2. When is anger valid? Anger is always valid. It is an emotion">

POSITIVE TALK... with Linda How To Manage Your Anger As a speaker and trainer I feel a personal sense of responsibility every time I hear about an act of violence committed against a child. Every time I hear someone state they cannot control their anger; I cringe because I know it is absolutely not true. What we need are coping skills. We can learn to control anger and improve the quality of our lives in the process.    Here are five questions that you need to be able to answer if you are to work out your anger. The answers to these questions will help you understand how your anger is currently affecting your life and how to use your anger to improve your life.    1. Is it ok to get angry? Yes. But it is not ok to lose control.   2. When is anger valid? Anger is always valid. It is an emotion, a feeling   you need not deny, but you must learn to manage.   3. When is anger useless? Anger is useless when it causes you problems, when it hurts you or others and leads to destructive behavior.   4. When is anger just? Anger is just when there is intent to hurt, but even then it must be handled constructively. Anger is unjust when you distort and attack when there was no intent to harm you.   5. When is anger a problem? Anger is a problem when it is too frequent, too intense, lasts too long, leads to aggression, and disturbs work, school and relationships.   It is important to know why you get angry and understand what provokes you. The time to manage anger is before it happens. Some techniques for managing anger are:  Accept your problem. Don't run away from your anger or internalize it. Acknowledge your feelings. Identify where the problems are. Get professional help if you need it.  Describe how you usually respond when you are angry. Be specific.  Identify alternatives. Generate some constructive solutions to handling the situation without confrontation.  Learn to relax. Take deep breaths and relax your muscles. Breathe in and out very slowly. There is a split second between stimulus and response. That split second is when you decide how to act. That is where you can learn to control your actions.  Evaluate. Determine what works for you and whether you have obtained the outcome you want. Are you willing to learn to manage your anger?  Take an anger management class.  Learning to accept and validate anger is the first step to controlling it. Begin by saying "I am angry." Now ask yourself the following question "Is being angry at this time going to help me or hurt me?" Most of the time our anger is useless to us because of the way we us it or respond to it. Begin immediately applying the above techniques to help you manage anger more effectively. Remember the time to manage anger is before it escalates.  [Positive Talk] [About the Speaker] [Loving Yourself First] [How to Sell Your Book] [Meeting Planners] [Keynotes] [Products] [Contact Linda] [How to Change Your Life] [Request Linda] [Carlson Learning] [Training Programs] [Testimonials] [Appearances] [Home] L.C. & Associates - P.O. Box 90369, Los Angeles, 90009  lindaspeak@aol.com  Copyright © 2000 L.C. & Associates Privacy Policy